Teething puppies are not cute

IMG_20170930_182653I’d like to tell you I’ve been productive in my time away from my blog here. I haven’t been, but I’d like to tell you I have. What I have been doing is puppy training and working. I don’t want to talk about working though, because frustrations are high at the moment. So let’s talk about Annabelle.

She swooped into out house and stole our hearts. Once she was certain we loved her beyond measure, she changed. The cute, cuddly puppy is now a barking, chewing, gas passing force of nature.  I think we finally have the potty training mastered, but now we are teething. And just like human babies, teething makes fur babies cranky as fuck. This little shit hasn’t stopped barking for 6 days straight.

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She even barks in her sleep. I know this because she graciously allows me to sleep on a small sliver of my bed. She, of course, takes up the rest. She gets pissed when I wash the sheets and blankets because they no longer smell like her ass, so the “fresh sheets” night is usually spent sleepless, while she roots and wiggles all over the bed to re-scent everything.  For the past 2 days, the only way we can get her to shut up for 5 minutes is to put her leash on her ad limit her movement. Then she gets bored and snoozes for quick power naps of blessed almost-silence.

She chews and she drools and I find random milk teeth in the middle of the night, with my bare feet. Like Legos. When you let her out, she wants to come in. When you come in, she wants to go out. It’s like the terrible twos meets PMDD.  She is shedding her puppy coat so everything in the house has fur on it. She needs her claws trimmed but she thinks that means play-bite-mom time. As I type, she is sprawled on my (her) bed, chewing her claws on her hind legs, leaving drool spots all over the blanket.

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Annabelle is the furry delight of our lives. But I swear by all that is holy if she doesn’t shut the hell up, I may give her a frontal lobotomy. I can’t even make any Paws On The Ground reports because she barks her fool head off like she sees Chucky, Jason, and Freddy walking down the hall. I checked, and they aren’t. But you can’t convince her of it. If I have the nerve to close the bedroom door, she sits outside of it and HOWLS like she’s auditioning for the wolf pack in the Twilight series.

It seems we have about another month of this to look forward to. We can do it. I think. Maybe.

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