Full Moon Traffic Syndrome

Since I already warned you that I would blog about anything and everything, I feel no remorse for this particular post. I hate downtown traffic. I mean I REALLY hate it. The only thing worse than downtown traffic is downtown traffic during any time near a full moon. People lose all reason. It’s actually kind of scary.

I had to run to the bank. This should have been a short hop. There and back in less than 30 minutes. Only it wasn’t. the idiocy started before I even left my neighborhood. Being in the downtown area, we have public transit. A whole heaping helluva lotta public transit. Well, a bus was blocking a whole street, including 2 intersections, while he chatted with someone at the bus stop. It took a good five minutes for him to wrap up his conversation, move his big ole bus butt and let me out. Off I go to the bank. It takes me 6 turns or so to get to the bank, because it sits on a one way road, and naturally my approach is ALWAYS the wrong way. In those 6 turns, I got cut off 4 times, forced out of my lane twice, flipped off by 2 different drivers and a pedestrian, and wound up running a red light to keep from getting killed by another bus that had stopping issues. I was a nervous wreck by the time I got there. I still had to make the trip back home.

Thankfully, I didn’t almost die on the way back, Instead I sat in gridlock. For absolutely no reason. There was no wreck, there was no active road construction, there was no stalled vehicles, nothing. What there was, was a sign stating that there was ongoing road construction on a road that intersects the road I was on. For some reason, this locked everything up tighter than Dick’s hatband. I was hot, cranky, and very thirsty. I was afraid to pull off at a gas station to get a drink, lest I lose my place in the gridlock line.  First world problems, amIright?

I did finally get by the gridlock, hit the first gas station I saw (which was pretty sketchy looking, to be honest) and bought a vitamin water. And then I finally made it home. This wasn’t even rush hour, or when school lets out. This is standard middle of the damn day traffic. So, yep, I hate traffic downtown, and I thank you for letting me gripe about it. Oh and lest you think this was some major metro area, yeah, no. It’s downtown Birmingham. As in Alabama. Seriously.


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